Whod you bang
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
