it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
