I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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