Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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