i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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