somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
