I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
