I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
