You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
