i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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