i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
