I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did we literally take a cab across the street
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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