Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
