I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
