Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
