PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
