I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize