Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize