guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize