think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
