And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
