So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
