I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
