just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Got a toothbrush?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize