We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
