You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize