if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
