We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
