going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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