i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
