Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
