Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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