how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
