How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
