you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
