listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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