mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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