I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize