You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
