How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize