i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
