Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
