I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
