I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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