it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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