It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
