I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
