Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
