I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
