i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize