not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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