He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
