I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
