Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
