I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
