i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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