Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
