Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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