Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
