"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
