I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have post one night stand depression
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