i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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