Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
