About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
