so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
