if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
