Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
